problematic

have totally no idea of my dog barking..Especially at night!
**imagine that it barks every night every single minute**
Cause a very disturbance to my neighbor and  myself
**that's why recently i'm insomnia including tonight!**
somemore i am afraid of getting sue by my neighbor!
and i admit that im the kind of self-awareness strong?
i could not stand of little noise while sleeping, especially dogs barking

i have done my research on dogs behavior, habit, Google, dog whisperer
apparently no answer found!
may be i should consider of sending it to SPCA?
but how do i convince my father?
i'm so tiring and frustrated..
I know there's a responsibility inside and i was never send an adopted dog to SPCA
but it's a cute dog! uurgh.. exception for her intensive barking
what should i do? as long as it still here i unable to sleep well..

okie, a little bit of my dog history
She was almost hit by a lorry in front of my house, few months ago
After my dad saw it pithiness, he quickly brought her in and started to keep her
That time i was sad of missing my another dog, a Golden Retriever
End up, we decided to rear her
Actually it's behavior was not a problem.. at the beginning
however this problem occur after it grown up
I thought i would have to release some negative energy..what Ceasar have taught in TV *i'm a great fans of him*
Somehow it can't help, i can't endure anymore!

Sending it to SPCA is a very cruel decision
and i am so afraid that the owner whose adopted her will harm her, or may be i should think in a positive way?

arrgghh.. i've been staying awake from 2.30am until now 4.35am
I HAVE CLASS ON 9am!
ok, no more sleeping..

WTH

I'm not that coward that you usually see me
Let tell the fact that i left Penang and went to Hatyai working
My conduct just to let you know, i'm will still survive without you
I dont have to depend on your pocket money, i work for it and i earn the money
It's definitely 100% my money. Without your control i still can live happily. The work is freaking hard but here i had overcome it.
Why should i listen to you?

I'm myself!

bought dr dre headphone!

craving

craving for a new phone so much! ><
sigh..

that's it i wanna to say

how do i show my careness?
when you don't need it at all
sometime i don't know what you thinking cause you are not telling me everything hiding in your heart
may be im not a perfect listener but i still here as long as you need me as a best friend
may be you don't need me but...i need you to know that i care for you.
that's it

=D

Got my result and it's out of my expectation
hoping my result will keeping like this
=D

將來會嗎？

有時我想問：你需要我嗎？

生活過得太充實不是件好事

少了時間陪伴家人，朋友

雖然說過是時候該獨立和放下

但還是做不到

假扮堅強是不要露出軟弱

放棄，但最初的堅持呢？

我知道沒有人可以陪伴我到永遠

事實不擺在我眼前，我是不會相信

如果緣份果真到如此，那我也只好欣然接受

我不曉得每個人今晚的偽裝

感覺不怎麼充實，欲攤開說，欲止步

也許時間過得太快，我也跟不到大家的腳步

分離時間太久，如今大家也越成熟，家人還是最重要

我知道這感覺遲早會消失

可是我還是想說：看見你們，我很開心

有點失落是因為我太不捨得

晚安

Dear me

I'm glad that i make a right decision to come over here
there is nothing better than what i really feel now
other than office job, i never been step into this multi-job
i know i was wrong, i learnt it on the side
But on the other side, seeing the ugly side of social world, it nuts me
what else?
fake and real
i don't know how to differentiate it now

Job

it is not a cool decision to make
it was all of sudden
to make a decision like this, there was no turning back
as previous post i stated that 1st time ever i'm leaving penang, heading to KL and Hatyai working
i found that, business world is totally complicated, it was different than schooling time
during school time, there was no worry. as long as i go for study that's it
this is not my 1st job, comparing to previous job, i learnt a lot, no matter working experience, everything is just my 1st time
although im tiring of this job, but, this is not an excuse for me
over protection is my weakness
but it's not late enough to overcome it
sometime, this job is just so stressful for me, i'm so afraid that i could not capable with this job
i have almost fall into give up but when i thinking of the reason i came and holding, i know, this is not a wrong decision
seriously i miss my friends, family, and dogs so much! what to do? hopefully i can cope with this hard job
alright, off to bed.
NIGHT

gossips

it's a bad idea knowing all these gossips..

even how i pretending nothing but still gossip is seriously affect someone's impression

well, accidentally listen so much of these can prove that im not a deaf person

everyone has their own thinking and opinion, this makes human so unique

however, no one is perfect, so do not simply judge a person

and hopefully everything will be fine when i leaving Penang

wish my Best of Luck in KL and Hatyai!

起死回生

胃痛痛死我了！
Gastric is killing me!
I learnt that, breakfast is important than any meal

Women would have many crushes, but their hearts only belong to one special guy.

Agree?
I'm totally agree with it
Cause I also belong to that statement.
Woohaa...

I care too much, this is the only problem.

This annoying feeling always appear when i felt thing that im holding for so long makes me feel wasted today
Since my aunt told me that i have to let go in some other time
I realized that nothing/no one is able to accompany you every time
Sometime, you'll need to walk alone.
Thus, I'm all by myself.

Working Life

1st time ever i will be leaving Penang 

Not for travel, but go to KL for training then will be heading to Hatyai work

Because i'm having 3 months holidays before my year 2 start

Is the time i have to be independent 

I guess my dog is missing me now, she knows that i will be leaving soon, so keep on asking me for hugs

I've been so lucky as my National Service also in Penang

So that's why i consider this time will be a great experience for me

Leaving sweet home

But soon i will be back after 2 weeks then stay Penang for 1 weeks, afterthat straight head to Hatyai to work 

Gonna miss you guys! 

Bye ya~ =D

him? or him?

i guess i still have to worry about myself after exam.
what should i tell him? and him? ==

Sore Throat before my final exam.. Hope it wont go worst..

I'm kind of racist.. LOL

信仰很重要?

有个宗教信仰，是好事。但是太过于迷信，是坏事。
渐渐地被基督教洗脑，现今对信仰什么教都是迷
在基督教的看法：道教是Evil Spirit, 佛教释迦摩呢是一个好人而已。

我相信佛教的存在，我也相信所谓的因果轮回。
我对宗教，永远抱着一个态度：它是灯，指引他人在黑暗中步行，向善。

从小，我就在教堂度过，也经常去教堂，现在即使有人叫我去，我也是有去的
接触过许多基督教徒，我能感受到他们的真诚与幸福
神，使他们更不一样。他们相信它的存在而它给予力量，支柱着他们

或许我还不需要宗教来支撑，暂时
有个朋友说：宗教的宗旨是教导每个人找回自己。很有深度一下
什么叫找回自己？
每个人从懂事就被许多因素包围，有些人身不由己，有些人是故意的
而自己真正的想法永远都不想懂，甚至是忘了
你还记得婴儿的时候吗？想必你都忘了，也许那个就是你自己。

宗教的重要性也在于自己
你是好人，人家就自然联想到宗教指引他向善的
你是坏人，那么自然你是没有宗教信仰的人
现在有没有宗教信仰都是一样
最重要还是自己愿不愿意

而我？ i trust myself XD

Now i realize my English level is degrading

Complaining

I cannot 'tahan' anymore

I know i shouldnt have the right to complain

I know this is my duty

But why? I just wish to have 1 day of mine, doing my stuff, surfing net, do whatever i like, sleep at my own room, having my own space

Not being someone's driver, I'm not a thing

I'm not being lazy I'm just tiring of these

How i wish i'm oversea now

Dont have to bother about this family business

I tried to be the best of me, accompany both granny, trying to present the strong of me (I didn't drop a tear in my grandpas' funeral) I used to cry alone, not in front of strangers, but you didn't know that I've been crying for whole night, alone, shed off my tear trying not to make any noises. 

However, you all still complaining about me? Cause if i'm cry, then you all will be crying, you know how much forces to cause me push a smile? I'm trying to reserve my time for all of you. All i want is 1 day sleep at my own house and rest,but you choose to ignore me.
You're using my sympathy, you know my weakness cause you are my mother
Accompany grannies is my duty i know it
But.....Granny's son came back and how i wish i could sleep at my own house.
Every night i couldn't sleep well, cause i used to sleep alone on my bed, a little noise may have the possibility to wake me up.. Granny is making noises every night, i couldn't sleep well, every 3 hours.. how pathetic is it

I'm dying now

We just friend, now and forever

Cut My Hair.. Shorter but i felt good and free!

個性？

是的，我有個習慣。與其說是習慣。還不如說是個性？我有很多不一的性格。雖然，我跟朋友出來約會，我是比較靜，冷淡，但是我想挑明：我越表示冷淡，其實也是借這塊臉來掩飾開心。只是我比較不敢表示出來。外表還是騙了人。

第二，我喜歡跟人吵架，是我的怪癖。但是我通常都是跟別人吵了，才明白她的想法，我喜歡這樣。冷戰不是很好的選擇，因為我不懂你在想什麼。要不，就像我跟另外一些朋友，什麼都說白。做到嗎？

放開一些，視野遼闊。是的，我覺得我放下了。執著不是好事。

最近忙完了作業，就要開始讀書考試。超忙，而且表弟在檳城讀書，每天都要載他去學校。多了一個稱呼，多了一份責任：做DRIVER。

還以為我跟他們倆的事已經完結，不懂又回到了原點。無言。我還在猶豫些什麼？

這個是我夢想的手錶，價錢也不菲。怎麼辦？==

Yes!

Officially done my two assignment 6000 words! 

Happy although still left referencing, easy job for me XD

I thought we could have enough time..

There is no turning back

I ain't going keep my words

My heart is freeze

Looking previous post, my blood is pumping argghh

you don't understand cause you never try to know

I'm done I'm totally pissed off!!
Ask yourself, how many times of your mistakes
A fool will know that being a guarantor need to pay all the mess left by the borrower
It's twice within half year you repeating the mistake
Yesh! My plan is spoiled, my trip is spoiled of YOU!
How would you gain my respect again?
You work as a businessman for over twenty years, and now you looked at your mess!
Won't you feel the shame?
I'm not gonna lay my hope on your stupid whatever 'kang tao' is it!

SHUT IT UP

Yes, indeed

I'm glad that you still remember me

And every time I was some kind of meant to you

But you noticed it wasn't me

Thank you for trusting me

In return, i'll pay my love and trust too

And i mean it =)

I learnt that communication is a matter

ENDING

Well, that is end for US now..
I do respect whatever your're doing, just I cannot accept the way you did without thinking of my feeling
So.. We are done.

Time builds understanding but distance destroys it. That's why we are apart.

Your words are stabbing my heart..it's hurt

有些話

擱下ASSIGNMENT，其實我的進展比預期的還要慢
原本因為朋友回來，還做好打算四天趕完四題題目，還是算了吧
這兩個星期就因為死鬼的ASSIGNMENT搞到我黑眼圈快速的蔓延四周圍

至於你，我是很生氣你
我既想放棄，又不敢。
我心裡想要很多，但我偏偏不敢抓在手心，到時的重量又多了

我知道我的方向錯了，但是我喜歡和不一樣的你談天說笑
我知道我堅持下去是維持不久
所以，我開始慢慢的放開
我是應該為其他的“他”著想
是你的就是你的

Why i should?

You just keep silence

Within the whole week, without any news any conversation

Who am i to you?

I'm so disappointed, cause you just letting US walk away

I told you and i meant it

But you doubt it

I thought i have made myself clear

Fine, I know i should not hanging it for so long

May be i was thinking too much, i thought you would holding back

May be i was wrong

Never mind, i will not hold it anymore

选择吗？

没想到我做了一个选择

到现在我还得怀疑我做得对不对

算了

心淡了

算了

是我错了

aarrgh... not in the mood of chatting

truth is somehow ugly

有疑問

關心太多，是多餘的？

攤開赤裸裸的心，是錯的？

也許你會覺得多餘

但這是我應該要做的吧

把自己想的太堅強，把別人想得太軟弱

我相信每個人都有軟弱的一面

尤其是夜深人靜時，所有負面情緒都會一一爆發

我該不該建道牆

自我中心再重一些

自立些？

不滿

我看得出你是別有用心
但是講話能不能有點建設性
喜歡就離體，說個沒的有的

如果拍馬屁你就爽到，亂給分
你害到的將會是我們

我不會為了那麼一點分數和你很要好
如果你是個好老師，我一定尊重你
不是拍馬屁，也不是檫鞋

如果你覺得我很我行我素，那麼是你的問題
拜託，改改你教書方式
來證明是我的問題

Something bout me

Yet, we are still friend for now

Yes, that I'm still not ready for now, I don't know about future...

A Doubt, Hesitation, Grudge, Unwilling

Tear is something whereby you cannot explain your sadness and sorrow

It drop like that.. no more word, but it can tell that a person is crying

Since from Funeral i thought i would never see it again..

Somehow i was wrong..

I don't know how to console a person.. especially elders

So i keep quiet, walk away

I hope that they will accept the fact, face the truth and let the sorrow fade away

distance

wanted to shorten our distance

but..if fate wasn't me, then forcing also helpless

i appreciate everyone who walked in my life

i love those who still be with me, not matter what happened

i miss those who far apart from me.. especially you.. (i never told anyone about it)

i know distance has keep us away, knowing you is one of my best memory

it's hard to keep in touch again, cause.. almost 7 years we never ever talk with each other again

i hope you are doing fine..

this is not me

i was supposed to do my assignment

but...will start do it later i promise!

erm.. talking about yesterday i was keep thinking of something

something i could'nt deny that sometime i might very cool and not giving respond

but i'm trying to change this bad habit

雖然外表是毫不在意，但是我是真的很關心，很在意

隨便一句話，我也會非常看不開

有時候睡不好，很多時候都是這些原因而自討苦吃

我承認我愛玩，但是我還是有底線

我認真起來，其實我也蠻細心的 XD

haha

i can't stop laughing when it keeps reminding me

haha.. i know you wanted to help me

but.. looks weird when i wasn't in that respond you wish

i just calm down and keep smiling

nothing i can do right?

anyway,

thank you for helping me

i was too shy to do it

thanks..

when i was pretending nothing, there is still something hiding..

when i told you that i'm nothing, means i was actually crying for it

i should have glad for everything which God given me

i was born in merry and blissful family, a mother who love me and i love her too, a father who like to fight with me, after we fought we just act nothing..a brother who is very childish even though he is older than me, and four granny..of course. I'm glad that they accompany me until 21 years old which not many people could able to see their four granny in 20 years plus.

kind of loving Adele songs

i love her voice, after W.Houston, Rihanna, Celine Dion

having a great voice

after been though these low tide and unpredictable moment

i guess i should stay strong and appreciate everyone in my life

i guess i'm gonna fine soon..

thank you for everyone who is so much concern about me

i will not let you guys down

Many Thanks..

生命的結束，是思念的開始

我以為我夠堅強來面對事實

但是原來我不是

很努力地不再想以往的過去

倘然接受這些事件

五天，失去了兩個親人

雖然自小做了心理準備

但是，在短時間失去兩個

我要多堅強？

爺爺我還能見最後一面

但是公公，我見他也是一個星期前

還記得我說的最後一句是：公公，我會回來的

但是回來時，已經是冰冷的他

為什麼不等我？

我很想你們，你們知道嗎？

choices

I know i've made a mistake

It's hard to treat as boyfriend neither forgetting his age

I'm still undecidable..

Sooner.. it will be end.. and things back to normal

Sooner, i will have my choice

沒事沒事

擁有你們

我很幸福

謝謝你們的關心

我沒事

遺憾

相處那麼多年

如果說沒事，是騙人的吧

特意停下車子在馬路旁

哭了幾遍

等心情再平復些才開車

因為視線被眼淚模糊了

第一次我身邊最親的人過世

家裡缺了一寶

看著他躺在棺材裡，安詳的容貌

誰不知他臨終前飽受痛苦

雖說一下，但我相信那一下是最長的時刻

我知道您是最疼我的

每次犯錯，還是您包庇我

我遺憾的是，您還沒看我畢業的那一天

我還是想說

爺爺，一路走好

不懂

難道要為自己打算嗎？

非要二選一？

如果我貪心，會不會太任性？

My hope

It's been my dream of standing in front of people and speech my thought on stage, after i was being told that our CGPA will start counting on 1st year, then i was hopeless. As i know, giving a chance of standing on the stage and speak, you will have to get 3.5 and above. Currently, what i get so far, i only has 3.0, still the grade can be decreasing in future. I know i have to put more effort in these yet i could not find my passion. I shouldn't blame teacher cause in fact i really don't pay attention in class. I'm so afraid of losing myself, the eagerness to get higher grade. My laziness also killing me.

What should i do to get back myself? I have no target for now.

Ahh... Life is tough..

(forgive my poor English level, i don't really improve it at all)

An Belief Im Holding For So Long

sad to say

time is heading us

since we walk in different paths

then i should realize that this could be happened

I knew but i'm holding 1 belief

when this belief vanished

then i should know it has came to an end

或許

或許我的佔有欲太強？

不允許第三者的侵入。

好久不見（2）

靈感很重要，不是為了什麼，而是我需要一些詞語來表達，不是掩飾什麼。

親情老實說我很幸福，如果我否認的話，相信有很多人投訴我。

我養狗不是什麼，只是我很喜歡狗。

我喜歡狗的熱情。

只要踏進家，他們就會搖著尾巴歡迎我，他們的喜悅也會感染我。

"Who can make you feel that you are unique?"

I can say definitely a dog.

狗是人類忠誠的朋友，這句話是沒錯的。

雖然，我家養的一隻被人偷去了，但是我衷心希望她能找到比我更好的主人。

或許我們真的有緣無分。

我喜歡被人管，不是我變態還是無聊。

對於我來說，這些是我的養料。

雖然你會看不到我的實際行動，但是難道要我表明嗎？

我不是個很有故事的人

你會覺得我的故事乏味

因為我是沒經歷過風雨

對於人生點我太沒主見

每個人的故事並不需要太多的觀眾

我走我的路，大家還是會回到原點

人生也莫過於如此

[待續]

好久不見

我有點想法，就是乾脆就別理這個部落格。

雖然電話成了我的發洩桶，但是還是不對。

實話說一句，我懶惰更新。

因為電話可以隨時，隨心隨意打下每一句我想說的，但是部落格不同，當時間錯過了，再說也沒意思。

現在看回我以前不怎麼更新的POST，我的話也短得太離譜了。

四個月的差距，我彷佛又長大了（暗爽 XD）。

不不，應該是說經歷更多了。

體驗到時間的殘酷，很多東西真的要好好珍惜。

我本身對愛情是沒什麼的，只是某些事和人，讓我覺得愛情很煩啊！

尤其是三角戀，我更無言～

我已經把實話都說了，我不想談戀愛，很多原因，也過不了自己那關。

也不要說等我，你們的等待只會讓我更厭恨我自己。

我也沒信心談戀愛，只因我不定性的性格。

再說友情，這個又是個深奧的學問。

我問了很久，也尋了很久，這個又是沒答案。

陌生人變朋友，不是說變就變。

很多形容友情的也很貼切，但並不實際。

東西可以改變，更何況無形的東西。

一些話只能形容暫時的友誼，並不代表永遠。

沒信心和我維持友誼到永遠的，別和我說友誼長久。

我怕我相信了，變成失望。

有些人我注定忘不了，那些人的地位不一樣。

我的生活態度也是他們能操縱。

他們一句話，可以給我重量，也許有時候也是我一廂情願。

當你想認識一個人，首先要找的是共同點。

這一句是我說的，當然也無法否認。

沒有共同點，相處會很難，除了罕有的。

我承認我很擔心這種關係是否會持續，雖然大家HANDLE得很好。

我也希望能持續下去。

[待續]