My hope

It's been my dream of standing in front of people and speech my thought on stage, after i was being told that our CGPA will start counting on 1st year, then i was hopeless. As i know, giving a chance of standing on the stage and speak, you will have to get 3.5 and above. Currently, what i get so far, i only has 3.0, still the grade can be decreasing in future. I know i have to put more effort in these yet i could not find my passion. I shouldn't blame teacher cause in fact i really don't pay attention in class. I'm so afraid of losing myself, the eagerness to get higher grade. My laziness also killing me.

What should i do to get back myself? I have no target for now.

Ahh... Life is tough..

(forgive my poor English level, i don't really improve it at all)